Never A Frown

Everytime I see a page, I get that heart-skipping feeling.


My flesh turns cold, eyes begin to blur out, hands start shaking, tummy gets bumpy, breathing gets a little more harder with each breath I take. It's a fear, an old evil that won't ever go away. I'm scared and not prepared. Although I say I am, if it came back, I would go insane.
No. Wait...
I'm petrified.

Cause I know what i'll do...

I don't intend to let anyone get away that easy anymore.





"If ya find someone that annoys the shit out of you, someone that everyone really hates, kill him. So what, you get caught, worth the consequence. View yourself as a hero, you saved all the rest, the people that couldn't stand him either. Oh well, you get out someday."

Chek Chah

They made it simple and clear.


But somehow along that dotted line, everything went pear shaped. We're sitting back, eyebrows raised, just waiting a while, really wondering what's next this time.
Nope, not my thing.
We shake our heads, close the door, light it up and try heading down the long road south. The predictability is hilarious. Disappointment in many forms.



I thought I saw my old brown shoe, but when asked, I yelled : "That ain't mine!".

Honey Lemons On Red Chairs

Sometimes we look back at the things we've done, people we knew, we wonder so much about it.




They would ask me, where are you now?

I'm in my gloomy corner. No one touches me here. I don't wanna be near anyone or anything. I feel like i'm still very much alone in my very own world. I might have put myself there, but what else could I do? My thoughts are so different, so deep, so complex, no one has yet been able to fathom what I am day by day. How sad. When the times are like these, the world around me moves in slow motion, you see the faces of people around you wrinkle and fade, frown and cringe. You hear the silent pleas of help, the whispers of pain that they feel. Why am I here? I try so hard to be normal, but when i'm alone, I never really am. My thoughts, visions come flooding in, I feel so helpless.
Do you know what this feels like?

It feels like im dying. Day by day, bits of me get blown into the wind. Nothing much anyone can do.




I'm waiting to die.