And I Want To Scream

Why don't you call me I feel like flying in two
I'm invisible
An eraser of love



If you think you're friends are way better than me, or us as a matter of fact, then say it. Don't lead me, or us, in a dance so you can just play with us then throw us at that given chance. We may not be as cool, or as satisfying, but we're still humans, with feelings. You gave me that impression today, and if what I feel is wrong, then prove it, and I would be as sorry as any sane can ever be. It would be my error to pay for, but at this moment, it feels like you're trying to get rid of me, because of this-a-certain-certain reason, fair enough, I may have gone too deep in your life, but, on my part, it was for a better good, never with evil or bad intentions.

You may not know what it feels like to lose an entire lifetime of friends, watch it fall apart with horror and feeling so lost and alone, in want of someone to turn to. At this moment, I think you do not understand a single thing. It hurt to know that your words could've been said with a loving purpose, but the way it sounded made me feel that it's gone all to waste. And yet again, if this is wrong, prove it to me. I never expected such a thing to come up in friendships yet again, and it's a tell tale sign, it's going to hell, this whole relationship of friends.





Maybe it's cause we're not up to your standards.

Grass Greene

Tonight, I lie in bed weeping silently, knowing no one knows who I am, that the one who will, will never come.





I just sit here, head held in my arms, the spirits by my side comforting me.
How I love what you've done for me.

God bless....

Sgt. MacKenzie

"To the best of my knowledge, and taken from reports of the returning soldiers, one of his close friends fell, badly wounded. Charles stood his ground and fought until he was overcome and died from bayonet wounds. On that day, my great grandmother and my grandmother were sitting at the fire when the picture fell from the wall. My great grandmother looked, and said to my grandmother "Oh, my bonnie Charlie's dead". Sure enough a few days passed, and the local policeman brought the news - that Sgt. Charles Stuart MacKenzie had been killed in action. This same picture now hangs above my fireplace. A few years back my wife Christine died of cancer, and in my grief I looked at his picture to ask what gave him the strength to go on. It was then, in my mind, that I saw him lying on the field and wondered what his final thoughts were. The words and music just appeared into my head. I believe the men and woman like yourself who are prepared to stand their ground for their family - for their friends - and for their country; deserve to be remembered, respected and honoured."




Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
When they come I will stand my ground
Stand my ground I'll not be afraid
Thoughts of home take away my fear
Sweat and blood hide my veil of tears
Once a year say a prayer for me
Close your eyes and remember me
Never more shall I see the sun
For I fell to a German's gun
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Where before many more have gone

Shop Capsules

I'm falling apart and no one can piece me back together.

Everyone else is so absorbed in their own tight little world, they forget the one that's been so close.



I'm losing it a bit more each day, and can you stop it?
No...
Not if no one listens and no one helps.
But who the fuck helps me? No-fucking-one. You're all bloody fucking selfish.

The City

Hybrid on Choke.



What is it about?
It's about choking on your secrets?

Whether or not it is what it is, it's amazing. It's secrets that bury us, secrets that are born, breed, nutured then unleashed in all its raw energy utterly destroying almost everything in it's path. People unaffected, people affected, everyone.
What's the point of secrets? You think it's a fun play, but it never is. Unless you just want to be left out of this world.


"I'll stay here with my secrets...."


Go ahead...
You choking what you love,
It comes back when your'e sleeping,
Cuts you in the dark...

Land

Pulse.
Wave.
She.
More.
Burn me.
Swift.
Closer.
Love.
Touching.
Love.
Lust.
Ecstacy.
Freedom.
Lust.
She.
Inside.
Me.
More of it.
Movement.
Pulse.
Movement.
She.
Me.


I've got you inside of me, she said.
That's all she ever wanted.



Trance me sexy...

Choke

Blade on skin.

This evening.

Just passed.

Why? Who ever knew why. Because of the things said, because the things unsaid, because I am who I am.


Dark.

In Summer When Lights Go Out

"We're trapped here Jay, there's no way out."

"And we can't go back that way, we'll never make it past them."

".....fuck........"

"Christ, what the fuck is going on? This shit was supposed to be over. Why does it go on and on, I can't take, oh god, please...."

"Dan, it'll be alright, take it slow now. We'll think of something."

It was quiet...

"Jay, i'm scared, i'm really scared. What are we gonna do.....?"

She broke down, dropping to her knees, her head in her hands as she sobbed. I closed my eyes and stared into the darkness. The horrific sounds echoing in the background, the evil pulsing through the unknown, beating heavily in my heart; all of our hearts.

"This is it isn't it? Thats that. There's nothing more after this."

"What do you mean 'That's it'? Make some sense please, I can't even freaking think, god...."

Everyone was beginning to panic, the desperation had sunk deep in, their hopes shattered even sanity now seemed to fade way beyond all our grasps. Maybe even my own wasn't even mine anymore. But how....

"Ginny, baby, it's alright. Come here, hush now, it's ok."

I took her in my arms, I held her close. All that I lived for flashed before my eyes and I knew there and then what I had to do. Ginny was all I had. She was all I ever loved. She is, my all.

"What sector is this? It's Seven here. Look over there Dan, this is 49th Street. Keep moving along under till you hit 52nd. There should be a bridge up top leading out of the city. Keep moving till you get clear. I don't know what's up top, but it should be clear. The reports didn't say anything was there. It's dead zone anyhow. You should be in the clear."

"Are you fucking dumb? Those things will be here once they find a way through. We'll just be dragging them all the way with us. And how on earth do you know there's nothing up on 52nd huh? We could be walking into...."

"Dan, it's better there and out then in here and stuck. Just go. Ginny, Stace, Max and Leo will go with you..."

She looked up at me, her eyes burning with emotion. I looked at her and she too knew. She loved me and I knew it. There would be another time. Maybe, just maybe...

"What about you? Jesus, you're not staying, oh my god that's not it, it's not going down like this!"

"Just go. I'll keep them busy."

They all stared.

"Go....."

They turned and ran quickly. The sounds were getting louder now. The splashing, the banging, the howls. I cowered in whatever shadows I had to cover me and waited.




Sometimes, we do things not out of bravery or sacrifice. We do things out of necessity. Knowing that we can and that not a single person in this world could do it at that given moment.





We never saw him again.

Coconut Coke

In 2077 the world seemed to have lost its place. We were still fighting against belief and preservation.
A year later, the world collapsed, people were frantic, people lost hope. We began to doubt humanity completely. Rumours that the end was near were spreading faster than aids ever did.

But we've already heared this story haven't we?

The moments where we fail ourselves and watch others fail along with us without anyone to hold us together, hearing words that mean nothing, and yet clinging on to amazing things people used to say. Presidents, the wise, the wicked and the insane. Our parents. The loved ones.
No. It's time we listened to ourselves. The people around you and me can only do so much to change our minds.

Even in ultimate despair and failure. Who have we got?



It's just you and me love, each for one another.
No more going back this time.
Just burn through...