Go Green Catwalk

I'd be there in a jiffy if I had dough and two proper feet
I'd write a story if people told me it was worth it
I'd be smiling if someone made the world go round
I'd sing a stupid song if the falling rain made a proper sound
I'd be missing if you took the bus to Hollywood
I'd buy you a drink if you needed food
I'd tag along to Metro till Watson
I'd be smelly happy watching the Jetsons
I'd just be there if I were you


But only if I had just you...

Hot Revenge

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, ''What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?''
The other missionary replied, ''I just peed in the soup!''

Midnight Calling

Some songs attain to different people.
Some hit home, some mean something
different.
Some make you feel good, some make
you feel far away.

I teared quietly to myself as I listened
to Emiliana Torrini's Serenade. I tried
to play along on the guitar but the night
was to much to bear. It's something to
keep your hopes high and keep the sun
shining in yourself. The gloom always
comes sometime. It makes things die.
I switch off the light and sit on the sofa
just listening.


"And now we will run with smiles.."

Take A Break

...i'm so unhappy...

The Hit And Run Case

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"

Cross The Sands And Stone

Ask me where i'd rather be than this confounded tiny algae-ed rock, i'd say Egypt or Greece faster than you can say jollyroger.

It's a place of forgotten beauty.

Whose Legs Are These?

Take a guess, wildshot.

Any ideas yet? Heh, heh, heh/Hur, hur, hur.

Sideways With Speed

I told everyone there would be a third installation for The Fast and The Furious. There were two rumoured versions of it. One, the main cast for the third would be all girls. Not so many guys. Which would be quite a follow up on the game series, Need For Speed Underground 1/2, full of al those models they put up in the game. Brooke Burke, etc look-alikes. But it would be just pure eye candy. The second, was of drifting, car drifting. I wasn't sure which one would be a serious project so the word was there were two.
And now when The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift is confirmed, people say it back to me:


"Eh you know they making The Fast and The Furious part three? Yeah, about drifting."


People are people. They hardly pay attention to what I say. Especially about movies. Hello? I know when they are gonna come out. Even years before. I got all the sources man!
*Proud*

Enjoy Tokyo Drift when it's out.




Asia can be hot when it wants to.

The Man And His Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

If I Go Crazy

She really must've been crawling up all the wrong parts, this one. Guess she damn well deserved it. Superman ain't one for violence.

Unless, it's called for.

We'll get to see it one day for sure.

Queen Gong

Suprise of the morning? King Kong.

Mother bought it cause I hadn't watched it yet and I wanted to watch it so. But, there was something dead wrong about the whole film. I wanted to watch it in theaters but too many singaporeans began watching it. I wondered why, why all of a sudden so many singaporeans bothered to watch it.
And now I know. Because King Kong is stupid. Singaporeans are stupid. Join them both, they make sense. It's not some big mystery that they only won awards for sound and visual effects. Because the storyline was pure crap. When it began, the script was smart, there were phrases that were very intelligent while the comedy struck home with good sense. But once they encountered the big gorilla, things got a little weird. Apart from the creatures that sort of freaked me out, King Kong sorely got on my nerves and I was supremely happy that he died. No remorse.
I mean take a look. The girl, Naomi Watts falls in love with this big fat gorilla instead of this sweet guy, Adrien Brody, that goes to the furthest extent to save her; even going right up to Kong to get her out of there. But even when he couldv'e died by Kong's hand, she did not give a second thought about him, but instead was so mesmerized by her 'love', the gorilla. If the whole thing was real, how could this girl live the rest of her life? That on her conscience was the life of countless citizens that Kong had killed in his search for her in New York City. It's pure madness. I was utterly dissapointed and I think Peter Jackson failed here. It did not seem like he was the same person who LOTR.

King Kong was overrated extremely. Thank god I didn't watch it in theaters. I would have been so let down.


King Kong gets:

0 Popcorns

The Melody

"...we were preparing to exit the town after the bombardment. Bodies littered the streets. The silence was complete. There would be an occasional blast or two somewhere over the next block. The fellas sat on broke concrete catching their breath. They were sorely exhausted. I myself was in a zone of confusion. Some part of me was sad, the other relieved. I knew we would be off anytime when the officials came down, but we all needed a breather, a 10 minute rest to gather ourselves. The bodies made things difficult to get over. There were children too among the bodies and I felt a tear or two roll down my cheek as I wondered about them. I heard footsteps scurry to my right, and I turned to look. A blonde, blue eyed boy ran out of the street. His faced was stained black with soot and his tear streaks were the first thing I noticed. He smiled at me with effort, then ran ahead of me. I continued to gaze at him. He was beautiful. He stopped suddenly and shouted in french: "Mama?"
He searched the bodies, an undying hope that he would be reunited with his kin. As he searched, he passed by a telly that had been left on throughout the whole time. It had no sound, but it still played. He stopped in his tracks and stared at the screen. After a while, he sat down, his mouth slightly open, purely mesmerized by what he was watching. I walked slowly, quietly over to him and tried to take a look. It was one of those cartoons they showed in the US during that time. The boy laughed while he watched, then suddenly taking note of me behind him, he smiled a darling smile that was full of joy. The innocence, the oblivion.
A nearby church came to life, like a blanket of comfort. The choir softly sang 'Vide Cor Meum'. It touched my heart. This beautiful boy, the song, this cursed place. It reminded me of so much. It reminded me of how much good there was in the world. It reminded me of my duty and why I needed to go on. It was for this small boy who found joy in a simple cartoon and forgot the world in disaster. I wept quietly to myself, holding my head in my hands. A friend of mine saw me and he came over and hugged me tight. I felt his hot tears beside mine and I knew I wasn't in this alone.
I never forgot the boy in France, it stayed with me till the end..."



Private First Class, Ranery Blake Jr.

The Sword Without A Hilt

I think she's the only girl who has the most fame from being stupid.


True isn't it? She got where she is right now for being a pure looney and a sore attention seeker. Sure, yes, she holds all the right cards to be considered ''Hot'' among men. She's got a great form, she's blonde, she's pretty and she showed all her "nice" bits on tape which was highly irritating to my professional opinion. I mean it was really dead boring. Worst "porn" i've seen.
Anyways, back to being hot. She's hot in the Eye category, but after and through all that, she's pure trash. Think about it. People with fame do things with their money. I don't really give much of a flying shit-horse what P.H does, but I reckon it's got to be extremely peanut-sized-brain like. Prancing around in over revealing clothes, parading all sorts of hideous bags, making a super fool of herself, the accusations go on and on. Why not be like Angelina Jolie oe Natalie Portman? Donate some money to some charity, do something for the world, find a fucking use for your intense riches instead of making everyone feel bad for being so dirt poor. It makes us feel madly pathetic that you can like like a queen and be such a bitch spending bagfulls of cash on filthy fashion wear.
I found a pic of her, and my oh my, it really disturbed me a great deal.



















That's Paris. Who bought. Her own copy of her ownself on tape.

God. How low can go you? I didn't really have a bad impression of Paris before seeing this picture, but after? There, made up my mind. She's quite the whore and almost every Celebrity webpage says it, so why don't I join in on the fun and take a potshot at Paris' stupid cunt.



But! Who knows. She could be someone really different. She is after all, young. And very dumb. Damn. So there is stil time for you Paris, our dear teeny-booper-trash-who-fucked-up-real-bad, to prove yourself. Though it's gonna take something really really really really really big to do so.

What have you got to say about Paris?
Tell me...!

Knights Be A-telling

I watched this 5 years ago when I first started watching movies in theatres. Alone, mind you, and I had a heckload of fun.
Let's just say, A Knight's Tale wasn't something everybody looked forward to. I haven't met or known anyone who has watched it, and I have yet to meet someone who has. We all know Heath Ledger from his new successful movie, Brokeback Mountain, where he has a a strong love bond with his friend.

Now, A Knight's Tale is underrated; seriously. Looks kind of serious, but it's not really, it's madly entertaining. It has a superb storyline, though quite predictable, but absolutely fun to watch how it all turns out. It extremely hilarious and I filled my quiet little home with joyful laughter at 5 am in the wee hours of this jolly Wednesday morning. Starring Shannon Sossamon, Rufur Sewell, Mark Addy and a few hilarious others, including gorgeous Laura Fraser, it's a movie that wil most certainly make you smile. The really funny bits are the added advancements from our time to medieval times. Songs like "We Will Rock You" is in it and its just cute the way it goes about.

I loved the movie because it had heart in it and it was fantastic to relive the old times with pure happy laughter.
A Knight's Tale gets:

Popcorns!

When Mother Intervenes

Ma, how many times did I tell you NOT to put those "things" in the coffee? Now look at her, I mean, look! She's positively dotty! A fruitcake! ON TV MA!















She's totally oblivious to what she's done. Oh dear God Ma. How could you.....

Way Shorter Than Me

Paris: Brother, do you love me?
Hector: The last time you asked me that, you were 10 years old and you have just stolen father's horse. What have you done now?





Hahaha!

Haven't you had that before? Your sibling comes up to you with the pussycat face and have the all smiles. And he just jumped on your cupboard, tried to get his favorite ariplane, crashed the whole cupboard and destroyed your prized medal collection. How darling. Cute when they're tiny infants, but when they grow up, DEVILS!






"Fishmongers are the funniest people."